This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.

Ooooo that smell!

Posted: May 03, 2013 4:31 PM by Dvan

Kenny: i got my feet up in the corner of the desk in such a way that i can fart massively without making any sound
Kenny: this is gr8
1 0


Posted: May 02, 2013 4:19 PM by Dvan

Kenny: at lunch i saw a guy w/ the shirt HTTPSTER
Kenny: good thing i don't walk around w/ my gun
Dvan: wat? that's awesome!
Dvan: I'd wear that
Dvan: In fact, I just made my IM tagline that.
Kenny: u fool
0 4


Posted: April 23, 2013 4:15 PM by Dvan

Kenny: im spending the next hour going around flagging all CL posts about pressure cookers for sale or wanted, as a public duty that I feel
Dvan: uhhhhhhhhh
Dvan: wow
Dvan: you know, people could just go, oh I don't know, buy it in a STORE?
Kenny: not if they have brown skin
Dvan: racist
Kenny: wtf nasa
Dvan: hey don't change the subject
Kenny: ok
Dvan: wtf?
Kenny: FBI planted the bomb
Kenny: numbers on the hat were changed by FBI
Dvan: I want to send an ascii art facepalm, but pidgin borks it up...
Dvan: so...
Dvan: *facepalm*
Kenny: hah
0 1

Department of Redundancy Department

Posted: April 22, 2013 2:06 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: dba has report server running under his user account. his password expires and users complain their reports are broke
@nrstexit plays circus music
Kenny: he sends an all-staff saying
Kenny: "SSRS Reporting Services reports have been failing"
Kenny: that is very redundant. SQL Server Reporting Services Reporting Services Reports
0 2

Holding your liquor

Posted: April 22, 2013 2:01 PM by Jon

Kenny: also i drank the north coast class of 88, which was good, but my idiot friend made SOUP for dinner so i vommed
Kenny: what the f**k pussy drinking food SOUP
Kenny: but not wanting to insult the host i accepted
Kenny: then ruined his garden so i guess i should have pushed back on the SOUP idea
Kenny: well i don't really know what it ended up looking like in the daylight
Jon: um
Jon: why would soup make you vomit?
Kenny: nothing to soak up the alc
Jon: you sure that's a flaw in the soup?
Kenny: what am i going to do, not drink?
Jon: so wait... you had 1 bottle of barleywine and got so hammered you destroyed his garden?
0 3

Pointy Hair Bosses

Posted: April 22, 2013 9:04 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: quote from my boss 30 sec ago: "UNC Path is the opposite of a URL"
Kenny: this is what its like every day!
palehorse: It's like you live in a dilbert strip
0 2


Posted: April 19, 2013 10:21 AM by Dvan

Kenny: im so buying a gun and making a disaster kit
Dvan: nice good idea.
Kenny: w/ enough supplies and porn i can hold out for days if they lock down pdx
Dvan: wow
Kenny: yeah sounds kinda fun actually
Dvan: freakin kenny
0 1

Your barn door is open

Posted: April 18, 2013 3:05 PM by Dvan

Kenny: in the bathroom i overheard two idiots
Kenny: "Hey... is it OK if there's blood in your pee?"
Kenny: --"Yeah, I think that's preferred. As long as it's yours"
Kenny: when i got back to my desk i noticed my fly was unzipped... apparently i wanted to get out of there fast
0 1


Posted: April 17, 2013 3:01 PM by Mike

Mike: "US intercepts 'ricin' letter to Obama"
Kenny: ricin' isn't that what they say the asians do in hondas?
Kenny: whoops, sounds a lot more racist when i use the word `the`
0 3

Separation of church and state

Posted: April 15, 2013 2:43 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: government tries to distance itself from religion but is always quick to say "our prayers are with XXX"
Kenny: guess that sounds a lot better than "good friggin luck"
Kenny: "we don't know s**t right now. But `our prayers are with you`. So that's something."
0 2