This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.

No Hope for the User Race

Posted: January 11, 2013 1:40 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: Who should get an e-mail 2 days before this gallery will expire? (Use commas between multiple e-mail addresses.)
Kenny: ABrown@(domain removed).com, rbourke@(domain removed), pperaza@(domain removed).com
Kenny:
Kenny: wtf DID I SAY COMMA AND SPACE?
Kenny: friggin users
palehorse: haha
Kenny: oh wow one of those isn't even a valid address
Kenny: there is no hope
0 2

Karma

Posted: January 08, 2013 1:15 PM by Jon

[Earlier chat about Kenny thinking he underpaid a restaurant bill, and I encouraged him to go in and make it up]

Kenny: heh well i returned the money but they were really confused
Kenny: they were like "Umm you're just giving us money?"
Kenny: i guess it was completely different people working
Jon: lol
Kenny: they asked where i was sitting and i gave them the general direction and then he said "I'll text the guy working that section last night and say people are giving him free money"
Jon: your karma's the better for it
Kenny: BUT there were 2 people working that section
Kenny: oh well, at least I gots me some more fried avocado taco
Kenny: s**t is da bomb
0 1

Odorous solutions

Posted: January 07, 2013 11:20 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: oh man i figured out a good trick. my boss can only play WoW with the door closed, but if I fart a lot he eventually stops and opens it
0 0

Ousted!

Posted: January 02, 2013 4:15 PM by Dvan

Kenny: what the dizzle? I checked in at a place for lunch, and I was still mayor, and now I'm ousted
Kenny: shouldn't be possible? cheating
Dvan: yeah, I had something like that happen to me too.
Kenny: fortunately it should be easy to murder them, I know where to find them
Kenny: I mean, Say Hello
Dvan: Hmm if a mayor gets murdered, does it make you honorary mayor for life?
Dvan: Maybe you get a "murder" badge...
Kenny: I hope there is a Foursquare reclamation process
Kenny: like there is on Facebook if u die
Dvan: heh
Kenny: wait didn't you already make a murder badge?
Kenny: using the knife from the desserts badge...
Dvan: hah I think that was Jon
Kenny: yea i want that one
Dvan: Serial Killer Badge
0 1

serial killer badge« Jon's Serial Killer Badge

Benefits of working on New Years Eve

Posted: December 31, 2012 10:50 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: guess i shouldn't have tried scheduling meetings for today
palehorse: haha
palehorse: no
Kenny: on the way there -> coworker says "umm, you scheduled a meeting today?"
Kenny: there -> my attendee doesn't show
Kenny: on the way back -> different coworker says "people are scheduling meetings today?"
Kenny: ugh
palehorse: Just sit at your desk and play WoW
Kenny: hmm.. should be easy to score the handicapped stall though... bbiab
0 1

Lynch Demonstration

Posted: December 21, 2012 3:50 PM by Dvan

Kenny: today i couldn't find him for hours and then when he came back he said he was "hiding"
Kenny: with a straight face
Kenny: ?? no idea ??
Kenny: every time he sends a meeting invite he calls it a Chant
Kenny: i think it's supposed to mean Chat
Kenny: he also spells MS Lync as Lynch
Kenny: it was especially great when he invited All Staff to his "Lynch Demonstration"
0 0

Kenny talking about his boss...

MAYAN APOCALYPSE!!!111!!!!ELEVENTY111!!!!

Posted: December 21, 2012 8:47 AM by Jon

Kenny: umm, did the world end as planned? because it's a ghost town in the coffee shop and at work today. And donovan is Away on IM so I think he might have gotten raptured
Jon: that's weird, the office is really empty too, just me and Joel here
Kenny: the lights aren't even on here
Jon: but I don't think the Mayan predicted the rapture I was always under the impression that it was fire and lava and meteors and s**t
Jon: there were a bunch of cars on fire on my way to work
Kenny: lol really?
Kenny: i should have bought a gun
Jon: No, not really
Jon: Dvan is over conferring with Aaron
Kenny: u bastard
0 0

Toasted

Posted: December 07, 2012 1:45 PM by Dvan

Kenny: wish I could get my drink first at Subway so when they ask if I want it toasted I can raise my glass, "To the sandwich!"
0 0

Outdoor Bathroom

Posted: December 03, 2012 2:20 PM by Dvan

Kenny: someone took a sh*T out by the bike lockers again
Kenny: I may not have to deal with CORIL but there is that.
Dvan: wtf
Kenny: Yeah. Working downtown rocks.
Kenny: Not sure why they can't use the grassy area in the parking lot like the dogs do
Kenny: i guess they don't want someone sneaking up on them and the bike lockers create a private area against the building
Dvan: How do you know it's not a dog?
Kenny: they used TP
Dvan: LOL
0 0

Tourette's

Posted: December 03, 2012 1:10 PM by Dvan

Kenny: tried a new coffee shop for lunch, but some tourette's guy yelled "F***!" when I walked in the door
Kenny: that was a bit traumatic for me, don't think i'll be returning
Dvan: Run away!!!
0 0