This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.

Slander campaign

Posted: October 18, 2012 9:45 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: i think i am going to start collecting the flyers they put up for company events, they are so awesome/hilarious
Kenny: they look professionally designed because... they are
Kenny: infographics and stuff too
Kenny: the latest one has a picture of the company president on it, who is not well liked
Kenny: curious to see if it gets defaced
Kenny: someone already put a snarky post-it note on it
palehorse: curious to see if you deface him
Kenny: in my 4 months we haven't crossed paths yet so i have no reason to be pissed
Kenny: i should grow a pair and meet with him some time
palehorse: all the more reason, no one would suspect you
Kenny: hah
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Max Size

Posted: October 12, 2012 2:25 AM by Dvan

Kenny: i might not know PHP but i can find variables in code called $max_size and make them bigger and this tends to make people very happy
Dvan: *facepalm*
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Bathroom etiquette

Posted: October 11, 2012 3:18 PM by Jon

Kenny: hey if i'm going into the bathroom and the COO is in there, and he asks me a question, can i pee while i answer?
Kenny: I was not sure the other day, so I went ahead
Kenny: touched my dick while I talked to the COO
Kenny: Yep.
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Uhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhhh

iCoffee

Posted: October 08, 2012 1:35 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: http://buy.stumptowncoffee.com/latin-american/guatemala-finca-el-injerto-gesha-varietal.html this s**t is like the iPhone 5
Kenny: $125.00 PER 12 OZ. BAG, Pre-Order, ROASTS & SHIPS MON.10/15/12
palehorse: um...no
Kenny: Where do I stand in line??
palehorse: spoken like a true iFanboy
Kenny: oh, they dropped the price? not interested anymore
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The Can

Posted: October 08, 2012 11:15 AM by Dvan

Kenny: one of the can lights in the bathroom burned out - no pun intended. But it did make for nice mood lighting for poopin
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Uhhhhhhhhh okayyyy...

Hands off!!

Posted: October 05, 2012 3:36 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: i locked my scissors with a padlock so now no one can use them without the key
palehorse: wow, pretty cut-throat around there huh?
Kenny: not really, just had a padlock and was bored
Kenny: now that my drupal is done i'm like wtf, now what
Kenny: heh
palehorse: lol
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OSS

Posted: October 05, 2012 1:25 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: CFO sez about my drupal: "Thank you for this client friendly, cost saving, integrated 21st century one source solution."
palehorse: one source?
Kenny: yeah never heard that one before
Kenny: one stop shop!
palehorse: Hehe, nice
Kenny: it's the Fred Meyer of file sharing
Kenny: with without the creepy bear
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Thief

Posted: October 02, 2012 1:40 PM by Dvan

Kenny: some chick tried stealing my cart @ costco
Kenny: i had one bottle of wine in it and i stepped away for like a minute
Kenny: when i came back w/ my selection of fresh steelhead she was removing the wine
Kenny: i said HEY DON'T STEAL MY CART and she turned red
Kenny: i said DON'T YOU KNOW THERE'S A 60 SECOND RULE???
Kenny: honestly that was in her favor, I think it's more like 5 minutes
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Death of a Fanboy?

Posted: September 19, 2012 1:54 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: f*ck, the Maps app on iOS 6 sucks ass
Kenny: now i have 2 reasons to get an android
palehorse: what's the 1st reason?
Kenny: they're not making a freaking dock
Kenny: i just want a simple dock so my phone is propped up nice and i can basically put it on the charger with one hand
Kenny: apple has made it for all iPhones up to now
Kenny: idiot COO said to buy an alarm clock dock
palehorse: lol
Kenny: apple drives me crazy with their unpredictability
Kenny: i should go to a verizon store and do a hands on with the s3
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Overnight Cross-town Fail

Posted: September 19, 2012 1:46 PM by Palehorse

Kenny: WTF my boss just overnighted something from Hillsboro for $24
Kenny: I would have picked it up for that
palehorse: Not the sharpest tack in the bunch
Kenny: no, and, it's a Motherboard Power Extension Cable
Kenny: because he is so obsessed w/ building computers from scratch
Kenny: Fail
Kenny: Yeah that was Cool - in the 7th grade
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