This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Posted: June 04, 2014 4:09 PM by Jon

Jon: http://www.dailycurrant.com/2014/06/03/gluten-found-in-portlands-water-supply/ Hope you aren't celiac
Kenny: my gf thinks she is
Kenny: so, she will be ok as long as she doesn't find out
Kenny: wait that is fake
Kenny: yea f**kin hippies
Jon: LOL

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Posted: May 08, 2014 11:10 AM by Dvan

Kenny: heh yesterday my gf and i went to a small sandwich shoppe
Kenny: small hence the extra -pe on shop
Kenny: anyway the owner had her back turned
Kenny: so i shuffled my feet... no response
Kenny: gf went AHEM... no response
Kenny: so u can probably guesswhat happpened next
Kenny: i gave that lady a nice burst of throaty whistle
Kenny: "OH!! didn't see you come in!!!"
Kenny: pwnt

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Posted: May 02, 2014 10:55 AM by Dvan

Kenny: my gf now is way hotter
Kenny: not as smart but that's ok
Kenny: i can feel superior

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Posted: April 28, 2014 1:44 PM by Dvan

Kenny: this morning at 5am my cat was going crazy pawing and meowing at me
Kenny: so i threatened him with my gun
Kenny: it actually worked... he hates the sound of metal
Dvan: wat
Kenny: just gotta remember that in my slumber i chambered a bullet heh
Dvan: i'ma call PETA on you.
Dvan: cause this sounds like a news story in the making.

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Posted: April 25, 2014 10:56 AM by Palehorse

Kenny:i gotta stop showing people my gun
Kenny:especially gays
palehorse:why?
Kenny:they get freaked out
palehorse:by the gun, or the fact that they know someone that owns one?
Kenny:i guess the gun
Kenny:i.e. like "put that away!!" "don't put that back in there!!" <loaded magazine>
Kenny:to be fair i purposely ejected the one in the chamber such that it would fly at their chest
palehorse:so you were kinda a dick
palehorse:lol
Kenny:yeah i enjoyed it

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Posted: April 11, 2014 2:49 PM by Palehorse

Kenny:my ex girlfriend is moving 3 houses away from me
palehorse:uh oh
Kenny:although we are on good terms i do not think my current girlfriend will like that

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Posted: April 11, 2014 2:46 PM by Palehorse

Kenny:so, when i was "researching" (stalking) this job i want last night...
Kenny:i found that a "senior IT architect" there is a familiar name
Kenny:finally i remembered it was a guy from EFNet that i used to talk to
Kenny:from #oregon, back in 2005 when i first moved to pdx
Kenny:i even remember going to his house once, he gave me a NIC
palehorse:heh, small world
Kenny:anyway i thought ok, that's cool, he may not remember me but it coul come in handy if i go for an in-person interview
Kenny:then i realized i had chat logs
Kenny:so i looked at them... and i was kind of an asshole to him heh
Kenny:so maybe i shouldn't mention it :/
Kenny:i even gave him a shell
palehorse:haha
Kenny:and he gave me a shell
Kenny:he wanted to hang out but i thought he was weird
Kenny:well, obviously he went places
Kenny:during my "research" i found his flickr and he has a really nice house
Kenny:blah
palehorse:karma
Kenny:yep
Kenny:maybe i will just mention that i use EFNet
Kenny:should be enough to score some points, knowing that he used to as well
Kenny:or even irc
Kenny:and not that i know his nick, and that we chatted. although it would be nice to say "i gave you a shell"
Kenny:but at that point he will try to remember me specifically and i am afraid at what he may remember :P

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Posted: April 02, 2014 1:23 PM by Jon

Kenny: new "growler bar" opening
Kenny: not sure what this is
Kenny: but it is called The Big Legrowlski
Jon: lol

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Posted: March 31, 2014 2:20 PM by Palehorse

Kenny:i remember at (previous company) everyone hated IT so i would always walk through the most crowded part of the office w/ my laptop and notepad so i could look important
palehorse:hah
Kenny:instead of taking the shorter route through the back :P

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Posted: March 28, 2014 10:38 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: ok so the HR chick wrote:
Kenny: Can you provide three blocks of time Monday and Wednesday
Kenny: onwards that work for a 30 minute call?
Kenny: i had to read it a few times, and finally concluded, what she meant was "any day but tuesday"
Kenny: so i replied that any day at 9:00 is the best for me
Kenny: and she writes back, "Let's schedule Tuesday at 9", lol
palehorse: wtf?

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