This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.


Posted: September 30, 2014 2:24 PM by Dvan

Kenny:,-79.402207,3a,66.8y,170.88h,80.18t/data=!3m3!1e1!3m1!2e0!6m1!1e1?hl=en this is canada? look like mexico
Kenny: "discount food and clothing" wat
Dvan: "Home of the famous chicken stew crepe"
Dvan: LOL
Kenny: woah wtf
Kenny: that sounds like a terrible idea
Dvan: yeah it really does
Dvan: but apparently it's famous.
Kenny: that's why we have the word INfamous
0 1


Posted: September 26, 2014 3:23 PM by Jon

Kenny: going to NYC too
Jon: wow
Kenny: never been
Jon: you movin' on up
Kenny: bought new walking shoes
Kenny: but they will probably kick me out of the nice bars for sneakers
Kenny: hmm
Kenny: need a crushable blazer
Jon: yeah, you need to drop like 2 Gs on new clothes just for NYC
Kenny: yeayea
Kenny: got a NYC haircut today
Kenny: long on the top and short on the sides
Kenny: and a $22 palmade
Kenny: pomade
Kenny: w/e
Jon: isn't that a Macklemore cut?
Kenny: ah, yep
Jon: he's from Seattle
Kenny: been there; done that
Kenny: time square
Jon: huh. Apparently a New York haircut is a thing.
Kenny: brook lynnbridge
Kenny: 30 rawk
Kenny: metropolican op'ra
Jon: if you don't visit the 9/11 memorial you're not a real American
Kenny: oh right
Kenny: i will try to sneak in
Jon: Yeah THAT's how you should do
Jon: you still got the beard?
Kenny: yes
Kenny: i made sure to get a haircut compatible with it
Jon: then don't try to sneak into 9/11 Memorial there, TALIBAN
Kenny: allah allah jiahahah
0 3


Posted: September 22, 2014 4:28 PM by Jon

Kenny: wat
Kenny: why does it say Abernathy now
Kenny: u going all formal on me?
Jon: I installed Skype because pidgin wasn't connecting to old MSN
Kenny: oh
Jon: thus far, not liking it
Kenny: mine still works
Kenny: hah yeah
Jon: it irritates me greatly that I have to install a video conferencing program to use IM for one service.
Jon: why the hell can't everyone use google talk
Jon: ...gtalk is based on jabber, and hangouts is awesome
Kenny: jibber jabber
Kenny: yeah i have heard of companies using hangouts lately
Jon: hangouts even has a drawing tool built in. It's great
Kenny: 3====D
Kenny: 3=m==D
Jon: now imagine if you could draw a better dick!
Jon: You'd be in heaven
Kenny: yea
Kenny: 3m====D
Kenny: 3=m===D
Kenny: 3==m==D
Kenny: 3===m=D
Kenny: 3====mD
Kenny: 3===m=D
Kenny: 3==m==D
Kenny: 3=m===D
Kenny: 3m====D
Kenny: 3=====D~~~~
Kenny: ?
Jon: really?
Kenny: Heh.
Kenny: WHOPS i just pasted that into the SA?N
Kenny: san
Jon: lol
Kenny: "ken why did you configure volume access from a server called three equals D?"
Jon: "Because I pulled the plug on that server"
Jon: you should send that to your girlfriend
Kenny: hmm yeah she has asked me to text and e-mail her more often during the week
Jon: haha
Jon: I'll bet that stops after you send it
0 4


Posted: September 22, 2014 4:13 PM by Dvan

Kenny: Jon: are you having a stroke?
Kenny: why does jon ask me this like 3 times a year
Dvan: It's a valid question.
Dvan: Well, based on the IMs you've sent me in the past...

a little later...

Kenny: ? do you think i can start this trend of putting question mark in frnt of sentences
Dvan: ? maybe
Kenny: ? doesn't it seem to make more sense
Dvan: ? no
Dvan: You should do that to Jon. Maybe he'll ask you if you're having a stroke again.
Kenny: lol
Kenny: after work sometimes i go home and "have a stroke"
Dvan: omg tmi
0 2


Posted: September 22, 2014 10:31 AM by Jon

Kenny: i was trying to squat these guys
Kenny: wait no
Kenny: oh yeah, them
Kenny: trying to squat people
Kenny: ad agency... but this chick thought i was trying to squat her ball team
Jon: you realize there's a law against cybersquatting, right?
Kenny: s**t
Jon: that's just if you're buying up the trademarked name domains with intent to sell.
Jon: if you're buying more generic but valuable ones, that's okay
Jon: like ""
Jon: though if you bought I'd be all for that. Put some porn on it or something
Kenny: i considered ti
Jon: get on it!!
Jon: what are they gonna do, picket you?
0 2


Posted: September 18, 2014 4:58 PM by Dvan

Kenny: :| my iPhone UPS trakcing number only says "label created"
Kenny: suppost to be delivered tomorrow!
Kenny: if they lie to me I wil piss on the grave of steve jobs
Kenny: actually no. It's not his fault
Kenny: Steve would never have allowed this to happen.
Dvan: Steve Jobs is laughing at your #whitewhine predicament from above.
0 2

Profit Prophet

Posted: September 15, 2014 4:00 PM by Dvan

Kenny: dude
Kenny: last night i bought (domain).church for $200
Kenny: listed it for sale for $1999
Kenny: someone just bot it
Dvan: haha nice!!
Dvan: instant profit
Kenny: yeah that was crazy
Dvan: or prophet
Kenny: lol
0 3

Iconoclasm and Heresy

Posted: September 15, 2014 9:11 AM by Palehorse

Kenny:attempting to squat .church domains
palehorse:cool, take advantage of organized religion
palehorse:i like it
Kenny:should know here in a few minutes which ones i got
Kenny:pass the collection plate!
Kenny:oh dang, .church don't go live till wednesday
Kenny:unless i pay $190 per domain
palehorse:foiled!!! what's the Christian version of Karma?
Kenny:well i already got 4
Kenny:which i believe were worth the $190 each
Kenny:i have about 10 more that i was hoping to get for $40 each
0 5

A Slut by Any Other Name

Posted: September 04, 2014 12:36 PM by Palehorse

Kenny:Alina Slutsky
Kenny:Copilot System Analyst, Compellent Storage
Kenny:Dell | Support Services - Copilot Optimize
Kenny:unfortunate surname
palehorse:that's awesome
0 4


Posted: September 03, 2014 5:03 PM by Jon

Kenny: so i think i accidentally unplugged a very important server today
Kenny: i am trying to insist that it's dell's fault
Kenny: can't have them conclude it was me
Kenny: dell has narrowed it down to a "Power Event"
Kenny: so they are closing in on me
Kenny: :|
Jon: oh you're done
Kenny: noob mistake
0 4