This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.

Happy Place.

Posted: February 27, 2015 1:33 PM by Palehorse

Kenny:Just because your plantronics headphones are wireless, does not mean u should take them in the bathroom!
Kenny:it also smells like a cow in here
Kenny:in there
Kenny:anyway I found a bathroom on the 4th floor that's only shared with 3 small offices
Kenny:my happy place
palehorse:like cow?
Kenny:smells like drivingthrough tillamook right now, in the (previous company) 7th floor mens room
Kenny:Just thought you'd like to know.
palehorse:a (previous company)y cow stench....lovely
0 2

And he'll be there until the cows come home...

The Dress

Posted: February 27, 2015 1:12 PM by Jon

Jon: Actually the color is white and f**k off
Kenny: ha
0 4

We get to the bottom of it.


Posted: February 19, 2015 4:37 PM by Jon

Kenny: gigantic ginormous ipa!!!!
Kenny: caused me to leave $7 worth of cream cheese out overnight
Kenny: I didn't really want an 22oz 8.8% beer but my hop czar wasn't cold
Kenny: it was damn good tho
Jon: haha
Jon: that was only 8.8%? Damn boy, you a lightweight
Kenny: dude i was tipsy after 1/3rd of it
Jon: WAT
Jon: wow, that's super lightweight!
Jon: had you not eaten anything for 2-3 days?
Kenny: I had some cheese
0 4

R.I.P. Calculator

Posted: February 11, 2015 2:01 PM by Palehorse

(Discussion about Windows 10)
Kenny:one really annoying new feature...
Kenny:when you drag a window to the screen edge to make it automatically snap to half the screen...
Kenny:...on the opposite side, it automatically makes thumbnails of your running apps
Kenny:presumably, for you to click on, to select the app that should then size to the remainder of the screen
Kenny:I do not like that
Kenny:i.e. if I have a segment of a window in the remaining space on the left side, after I snap a window to the right, I want it to stay that way
palehorse:what if you snap it with your window+arrow key?
Kenny:I don't want Windows to "suggest" what I do with it
Kenny:f**k it does the same s**t
palehorse:it's the paperclip all over again
Kenny:oh also, CALCULATOR is bloated now!!!!!!
Kenny:it takes like 4 seconds to start
palehorse:really? that's like always been one of the light apps
Kenny:RIP calc.exe
Kenny:as we knew it
Kenny:and... it just seems slower
0 2

Special Needs

Posted: January 28, 2015 3:18 PM by Dvan

Kenny: I got lots of freeze dried meals from Cabelas on brack friday
Kenny: for my zombie go-bag
Dvan: there u go
Dvan: kennysurvivalkit
Kenny: and, now I got a can opener I can actually use
Kenny: for years I struggle
Kenny: sawing open tin cylinders of vegetable staples
Kenny: poking holes one at a time around the edge of the can, eventually allowing me to bend the metal with pliers to dispense the contents
Kenny: until my gf bought me - The Left Handed Person's Can Opener
Kenny: her sentiment? "I felt bad for getting frustrated at you that time we were trying to make chili. I now realize that you just have special needs."
Kenny: thus I look forward to enjoying corn and tuna during the zombiepocalypse
0 2

I haven't heard from Kenny since...

Posted: January 19, 2015 3:29 PM by Dvan

Kenny: oh I saw my bulgarian boss
Kenny: on the street... that was a close one
Dvan: you could be working for him
Dvan: uh oh did he see you?!?
Kenny: yeah
Dvan: ur skrood
Kenny: I was typin on my phone, looked up and BOOM there he was, in his big coat
Dvan: lol that's how the mob rolls
Kenny: i must be more cautious
Dvan: one day he'll get you
0 2


Posted: December 31, 2014 1:58 PM by Dvan

Kenny: company-announcement! Forks, spoons, and knives are no longer provided. Bring your own from home.
Kenny: ^ wtf
Dvan: WAT
Dvan: They afforded a sign on the building, they should be able to afford silverware or plasticware
Kenny: so dumb
Kenny: I also have no trash can
Dvan: yea
Dvan: this is true
Dvan: but you have ajob
Kenny: yeah I should be thankful
Dvan: yeah you should

Later on...

Kenny: wahoo Trash Can!
Kenny: & a recycling bin w0w
Kenny: the bathroom is out of order
Kenny: guess I will TAS at Jimmy Johns
Dvan: lol
Kenny: man JJ's is too fast
Kenny: if u don't pick up ur sandwich in 30 sec they holler it out
Kenny: I don't like the fast past atmosphere for my intended use of their bathroom
Dvan: lol
Dvan: #firstworldproblems
0 1

High, Kenny!

Posted: December 31, 2014 1:53 PM by Dvan

Dvan: how was christmas in your tiny apt?
Kenny: went to Sequim, WA
Kenny: nice change from Bend, not as convenient obviously
Kenny: got to play on a rock beach next to my dad's house with tons of crabs and clams and rocks and shellz
Kenny: the church don't have a projector
Kenny: we have HYMNALs
Dvan: haha
Dvan: old skool
Dvan: did u go to church hi?
Kenny: it wore off before I got there
Dvan: lol
Kenny: but before It wore off I pulled over to take a piss, and walked into a mud lake
Dvan: hahahaha
Kenny: & my shoes were loosely tied so when I tried to take a step back, the mud ate my shoe and my sock came out
Kenny: and I steped in the mud with that too
Dvan: lol
Dvan: Karma for something?
Kenny: dunno, but I learned WA definitely has a different terrain than OR
Kenny: ain't desert out there
0 1


Posted: October 13, 2014 1:22 PM by Jon

Kenny: i found some cool hipstor glasses while in NYC
Kenny: going to order them soon
Kenny: phat?
Jon: wat
Kenny: i asked them "how can I tell which are mens and which are womens?"
Kenny: they said "all our collection is unisex"
Kenny: hmmmm
Jon: ah so you'll be wearing chick glasses
Kenny: no
Jon: start calling you Lisa Loeb
Kenny: oh yeah she does have glasses like that
0 3


Posted: September 30, 2014 2:27 PM by Dvan

Kenny: the canadian money is transparent
Kenny: so dumb
Dvan: What a bunch of loonies.
Dvan: (instant rimshot)
Kenny: i don't get it
Kenny: loon
Kenny: is a bird
Dvan: ugh
Kenny: oh cool
Dvan: Your canadian name should be "Kensington".
Kenny: yeah that's what my co-worker calls me
Kenny: actually I am going to Kensington when we get there
1 0