This is a selection of IMs from my friend Kenny.

Enjoy at your own risk.


Posted: July 12, 2013 4:52 PM by Dvan

Kenny: 55 min until the IT technician who sits behind me gets s**tcand
Kenny: can't wait to take his shiny sony vaio
Dvan: oh wow really?
Kenny: yeah heh he's part time and probably like 23
Kenny: but wears headphones all day / not a team player
Dvan: is he the nail clippy dude?
Kenny: YES OMG
Kenny: YAY
Kenny: i forgot about that, that will be nice
Kenny: it was kind of nice having a lackey for a while, i had him call UPS and deal with their datacenter not having authorization to use our account number crap
Dvan: heh
Kenny: he had to repeat the account number probably 10 times on that call
Kenny: owned
Kenny: lolo he's clipping right now, i heard his keys jingle so he must keap his clipper on them
Kenny: that explains y i could not find it the other day
Kenny: after he left i was searchin so i could disappear the tool
Kenny: now he will b the one disappearin
0 2

Bad Drivers

Posted: July 11, 2013 10:00 AM by Dvan

Kenny: I'm tired of hearing all this analysis over the Asiana plane crash. Everyone already knows Asians are terrible drivers.
Dvan: *facepalm*
0 2


Posted: July 01, 2013 12:55 PM by Dvan

Kenny: people upstairs in the nice office play corn hole on and off during the day
Kenny: annoying as hell :|
Dvan: wait... what?????
Dvan: ok I was wondering...
Kenny: heh "regulation size"
Kenny: who is regulating cornhole!
Dvan: lol
Kenny: i should have said it this way: "so tired of all the banging from the constant corn hole action upstairs"
Dvan: that doesn't help.
Dvan: that makes it worse!
0 1


Posted: June 26, 2013 10:09 AM by Dvan

Kenny: why do ppl think it's ok to clip their fingernails @ their desk?
Kenny: it's not like they're just making a little touch up. this guy has done like 20 clicks, that's 2 per finger
Kenny: i have seen this a lot actually, somehow our society thinks fingernail clipping is not a personal grooming bathroom activity?
Kenny: if he takes off his shoe im gonna be pissed
Kenny: look, if it was a mouse clicking, or if i sat next to a water heater with a faulty pilot light, that would be fine
Kenny: and even though this fool is behind me, i KNOW there is PERSONAL GROOMING going on back there and that is not acceptable
Dvan: lol
Dvan: Wishing you stayed at (previous company) yet?
Kenny: no cuz then nuts guy would still be behind me
Kenny: now it's fingernails guy
Kenny: argh!#$*!@#%*
0 3

gf GF PITA pita

Posted: June 13, 2013 10:58 AM by Dvan

Kenny: so ur wife is GF?
Kenny: cuz my gf is GF which is a PITA, for example, she can't eat pita
Dvan: no, I´m GF, but we really like the sauce anyway.
Dvan: heh
0 0


Posted: June 05, 2013 1:45 PM by Dvan

Kenny: yesterday... there is this acronym ADFS active directory federation services
Kenny: he kept calling it ASDF
Kenny: sys admin is like "what does that mean" and my boss correctly said "active directory federation services"
Kenny: which didn't even match the acronym he was saying!
Kenny: he is thinking of the stupid letters on the keyboard
0 3

Beer Snob Fail

Posted: June 03, 2013 11:02 AM by Jon

Kenny: oh also , i been dumping out the last half inch or so of beer in my bottles
Kenny: just cuz it tastes nasty
Kenny: cuz it's always warm
Kenny: when you've got a CASE of inversion in the fridge, why drink the last warm oz?
Kenny: that's a true beer snob
Jon: No, that's a beertard
Kenny: wat
Jon: that bottom of the bottle is the yeasty nutrient portion
Kenny: hah
Jon: helps prevent hangovers
Jon: true beer snobs would swirl the bottles to get it and pour that into their glass
Jon: and wait, are you DRINKING FROM THE BOTTLE????
Kenny: s**t
Kenny: i don't want to dirty a glass
Jon: Beer snob fail
Kenny: damn
0 2

Handicapped Spot

Posted: May 29, 2013 2:25 PM by Dvan

Kenny: our client sent a singing telegram and huge box of gourmet cupkakes today, for launching their new website. so when everyone gathered in the commons I headed for the bathroom cuz I knew I could store the handicap stall
Kenny: I could hear the singing from in there anyway
Kenny: could have grabd a cupkake too i suppose, but eating on the s**tter is just counter productive
0 1

Coffee Grinch

Posted: May 23, 2013 12:45 PM by Dvan

Kenny: the coffee rule is "you kill it you refill it" so i'm really good at getting a feel for the carafe pump and knowing when it's aobut to start sputtering
Kenny: then i STOP even if i have half a cup
Kenny: knowing the next person will get like 2oz and officially kill it
Kenny: pwned
0 3

fortunately i crapped.....

Posted: May 08, 2013 10:21 AM by Palehorse

Kenny: almost got t-boned by a suburban.. what an adrenaline rush
palehorse: that'll get the bowels moving...
palehorse: heh
Kenny: fortunately i crapped before my commute
Kenny: road rage = adrenaline
palehorse: lol
Kenny: maybe. i guess when someone cuts you off that shouldn't be life threatening
Kenny: its going to take a lot more generations of humans driving cars before the body evolves appropriately
Kenny: before the industrial revolution, to have a huge object swoop in front of you at high speed was NOT normal i.e. adrenaline rush
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